The Most Random System

Chapter 970 - 448: A Chicken a Day, the Doctor Envying Me

After sleeping for a few hours, Monday morning arrived.Nansang Middle School.

Lin Li arrived at the classroom.

"According to the unofficial histories, the upcoming Christmas is actually a holiday set up to celebrate the Jin Kingdom unifying the Three Kingdoms."

"Everyone’s heard the classic Christmas song ’Jingle Bells’, right?"

"Jin guo bang! Jin guo bang! Jin guo on the Wei! This song is praising and blessing the Jin Kingdom, which was born out of the Wei Kingdom, hoping it’ll grow stronger and stronger in the future and blow up the whole world.

Also, everyone always says ’merry chri-Sima Shi’ to each other at Christmas, right? Translated, that means ’Sima Shi, be happy every day’, which is further evidence for this unofficial history.

Oh right, I even have Sima Shi’s payment QR code. In a couple of days, if anyone wants to transfer him some money to wish him a happy holiday, you can contact me."

Bai Bufan’s "unofficial history" segment did not miss today, and it was obvious this was something he’d specially prepared for this week.

"f*ck, it’s Christmas this week huh. Alright then, when you’re free, everyone send me your gifts, I’ve prepared some exquisite addresses for you!" Yang Bangjie sighed with emotion.

This week I’m gonna madly forward that Christmas lewd-pic collection!

"So Christmas is actually celebrating the Wei Kingdom, huh." Having learned something "new", Zhou Baowei scratched his head in shock:

"I always thought Christmas was celebrating chicken hotpot, I’ve always heard that song as ’ji gong bao, ji gong bao, jing guo wo de wei (chicken hotpot, chicken hotpot, passing through my stomach)’."

Zhang Haoyang let out a sigh, still a bit salty: "If only the Jin Kingdom had been founded by miHoYo. Poor Mi, worked his ass off, conscientious and diligent, contributed so much to unifying the Three Kingdoms, and in the end, Sima Shi was the one who picked the fruit."

"f*ck, doing problems with formulas really is faster." Bai Bufan couldn’t hold it in anymore and instantly gave him a thumbs-up.

"If you’re plugging into a formula, it’s gotta be Shu Kingdom’s permanent saltiness, right? But seriously, the easiest to empathize with really is Shu. Every time I watch the old Three Kingdoms drama, I feel like crap when they say ’Prime Minister, take care’." Qin Zeyu said with some emotion, then a bit regretfully:

"What a pity, such a pity. To put it bluntly, the Liu Bei Group’s civil and military officials didn’t really synergize well, which is why they failed later on. If they’d had a different lineup, the result would’ve been totally different."

"In my heart, I’ve got an unbeatable setup:

Zhuge Liang plus Zhao Yun guarding Chengdu. Xu Shu plus Guan Yu guarding Jingzhou. Pang Tong plus Zhang Fei guarding Hanzhong. I team up with Da Qiao, Xiaoqiao, Diao Chan, Sun Shangxiang, Zhen Ji, Cai Wenji, and Hua Tuo, temporarily stationed in the rear at Xiaopei, forming a pincer formation with them. Like that, I see the great cause as totally achievable.

Sadly, when my lord was born, I had yet to be; when I was born, my lord’s kingdom had already fallen. Wrong era, wrong life."

Qin Zeyu let out a long sigh.

If Zhuge Liang had met a wise lord like himself, the ending would definitely have been different.

"I think that lineup is garbage." Wang Ze stepped hard on Qin Zeyu’s shameless fantasy, but didn’t stomp it flat. He suddenly changed tone: "Unless you let me guard Chengdu together with Zhuge Liang and Zhao Yun."

Qin Zeyu: "Deal."

Wang Ze nodded: "My lord, with that, the great cause really can be achieved."

"Hehehe, Zhuge... hehehe, Zhao Yun..."

"Hahahahaha, hehehe your mom!!"

"Too damn stable, f*ck!"

After hearing the "hehehe" part, Bai Bufan and the others couldn’t hold back; every one of them had to curse those two out.

The classroom was full of a happy, rowdy atmosphere.

"Breakfast, come and get it." Lin Li wove through the rowdy crowd of bros in the back rows, looking a bit out of place as he handed out the breakfasts in his hands.

After getting their breakfasts, everyone went back to their seats to start eating—everyone except Wang Ze, who chose to put his breakfast on top of his locker and eat it standing.

"Lin Li, what’s up with you, you on your man-period or something?" After Bai Bufan returned to his seat, he didn’t start eating right away, but instead looked at Lin Li hesitantly.

Lin Li was weird this morning.

He hadn’t just shown up at the end when everyone was fooling around just now, but he hadn’t joined in at all; and his expression right now was also really flat, which made Bai Bufan a bit worried.

It really felt like Lin Li had run into some kind of setback, and he wasn’t sure if the guy could handle it.

Hearing this, Lin Li gave a small smile without much mirth, his eyes sweeping over Bai Bufan calmly: "Bufan."

"Yeah?"

Lin Li: "You know the current world record for jerking off is held by Johnny Martin, who set a record of 36 times in 24 hours.

But I don’t think that’s anywhere near the limit of the human body. I’ve got a friend who can hit that record in just three hours."

Bai Bufan: "☉_☉."

Bai Bufan: "⊙▃⊙?"

Bai Bufan: "(ΩДΩ)!!!"

"Lin Li! Don’t do anything stupid! Lin Li!!" Bai Bufan clutched Lin Li’s shoulders in a heart‑rending panic and shook him hard:

"I get that you wanna be a gentleman, but a gentleman’s fap style is supposed to be mild as water, nobody told you to bleed for it!! Stuff like this, we gotta take it slow and steady!! Don’t drain the lake to catch the fish!! Lin Li——! You’re not gonna keel over and die right next to me today, are you!!

That’d be super bad luck!!"

"I’m kidding, it wasn’t that many times." Even while being shaken, Lin Li kept that peaceful, everything’s‑fine smile and said faintly, "But I really haven’t fully recovered yet."

His own health was obviously still the top priority; Lin Li wasn’t about to lose the fundamentals chasing the trivial.

It’s just that, ever since he got the system, it had been a long time since he’d felt this "drained to the bone" feeling.

"That’s good then."

Not that Bai Bufan actually believed it.

It’s not like he’d never nutted before himself. Thirty‑six times in three hours—that’s once every five minutes on average. That’s not even human anymore. Immediately, Bai Bufan decided to switch to a more devious angle to study this issue:

"What kind of ’resources’ did you find last night that could push you that far?"