The Most Random System

Chapter 1108 - 495: When Class Four Unites, the Virus Loses Its Chance for a Comeback (Part 2)

Lin Li: "I have a plan that can keep him busy on Sunday."Chen Yu Ying was initially curious, then looked at Lin Li with suspicion.

Lin Li: "First, we need a high-lumen LED flashlight, with a white light source. Then, lure Uncle into a dark room to meditate for three to five minutes to fully adjust his eyesight to the dark environment. After that, aim the flashlight directly into his eyes!

Flash flash flash!!

Then, we have a very busy uncle who won’t be able to see for a while. He’ll definitely become a very busy person."

Chen Yu Ying: "(•́へ•́╬)..."

What kind of busy person are you talking about?

"Although this method will indeed prevent Dad from taking me, I still have a conscience. Lin Li, is there a slightly more ethical way?" Chen Yu Ying chuckled helplessly.

Lin Li: "During the three to five minutes of meditation, since we’re idle anyway, you can recite the ’Tao Te Ching’ to Uncle."

Chen Yu Ying: "..."

Bang bang bang.

Chen Yu Ying unapologetically gave Lin Li three punches.

Perhaps it was right for Dad to be wary of Lin Li. My boyfriend indeed has a rather twisted mind.

"We’ll see on the weekend. It doesn’t matter if your dad takes you, as long as he doesn’t follow us all the time. We can meet over there and stroll around Pingjiang First Middle School together."

Lin Li no longer joked around and replied casually since it was a harmless little thing anyway.

"Indeed~"

...

Afternoons tutoring, naturally, was no big deal. As usual, Chen Yu Ying and I had dinner after leaving the school gates, took a walk around the playground, and then returned to the classroom.

"According to unofficial history, Liu Bei was actually very satisfied with Liu Chan, always believing he would unify the Three Kingdoms.

Because Liu Chan conversed with me in a dream, he said he met Liu Bei in the Underworld after his death.

Liu Bei asked, ’Did Cao Wei fall?’

Liu Chan replied, ’Yes, I saw it myself.’

Liu Bei asked again, ’What about Eastern Wu?’

Liu Chan replied, ’Eastern Wu surrendered.’

Liu Bei asked once more, ’So where were you at the end?’

Liu Chan replied, ’I was spending my twilight years in Luoyang.’

After hearing this, Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang burst into laughter, excitedly inviting Liu Chan to enjoy life eternally. Uncle Guan also thought Liu Chan deserved a reward, so they all lived happily ever after in the Underworld."

"Wow, there’s even a crossover!"

"Even Ah Dou can pull a montage."

"Isn’t Montage the guy who painted the Mona Lisa?"

"That’s Da Vinci, dammit."

"Wasn’t Da Vinci what Ol’ Eight was eating in the bathroom?"

"That’s Lin Li—not, hey hey hey! Lin Li, stop locking my neck, I can’t breathe!"

Wang Ze, who was being choked, patted Lin Li’s arm with difficulty, creating a striking scene in Class Four of Senior One.

"Phew—" When Lin Li finally let go, Wang Ze rubbed his neck and spoke spitefully: "I will start a movement to overthrow the monarch."

Lin Li glanced at Wang Ze: "Wang Ze, do you know why Americans always lose at pool?"

Wang Ze couldn’t hold back and lowered his head: "Grass."

If, at this moment, combined with the earlier conversation, anyone couldn’t immediately think of the answer, they could leave Class Four of Senior One.

—Because they always pocket the black ball first.

In pool, the black 8 ball must be pocketed last; pocketing it early means an instant loss.

After the unofficial history talk, evening self-study hadn’t started, and the boys began joking and recounting whose outrageous weekend exploits were the most impressive.

Zhou Baowei, who had just returned from filling up hot water, came back to the classroom.

Sitting at his seat, he took out some medicine, dissolved it in warm water, and got out a medicine packet.

Although hardly any of the boys in the back row were human, they were still somewhat concerned about a classmate’s life, at least not wanting him to die in front of them. So when they saw Zhou Baowei taking out medicine, Qin Zeyu nudged him, representing everyone’s question:

"Bao Wei, why are you taking avoidance medicine? Did you have an internal setup over the weekend?"

"Scram, scram, scram," Zhou Baowei raised his middle finger when he heard this, smelled the dissolved medicine with disgust, and then replied:

"I went to a self-service restaurant on the weekend, a pretty expensive one at that."

Qin Zeyu paused, his concern shifted: "Is that place still in business? The owner still hasn’t gone bankrupt?"

Chen Tianming: "The kitchen said, ’F*ck, is there a company team building today? So many people?’, and the waiter replied, ’Just one.’"

Wang Ze: "I have quite a bit of experience with self-service. To not lose out, you must eat the expensive stuff. Last time, after paying, I quietly gnawed on the genuine leather sofa in their store. When the owner saw me, they tearfully begged me to stop eating. That’s when I knew I was doing it right."

Zhang Haoyang: "I bet Bao Wei was at his peak gaming level that night, because he really maxed out.

Bai Bufan: "Just maxed out?

That night, the toilet used a strawberry tart to block Bao Wei’s rear while yelling, ’Help me break through the cauldron!!’

Bao Wei angrily clenched his sphincter—’Stop struggling, you were born to eat shit, it’s your destiny!!’

The toilet: ’Screw your shitty life, my fate lies within my hands, not in the heavens. Be it blocked or not, I decide!!’

’Oh no! They’re absorbing energy from the feces!’ The butt already had a feeling, and suddenly Bao Wei sat down hard—’Big booty! Deeply rooted!’..."

Everyone admired Bufan’s storytelling ability.

Such an amazing storyline.

It feels like shooting it could at least gross a billion at the box office, becoming a colorful page in the history of bathroom cinema.

But Lin Li seemed out of place, frowning and heaving a light sigh: "Honestly, I always envy Louis XVI and Xingtian whenever I eat at self-service places."

The conversation halted, and everyone turned their gaze to Lin Li, letting out a sigh.

Remember, self-service restaurants charge per head.

Keep in mind, Louis XVI, Xingtian, Nezha, together have exactly three heads.

When the conversation shifted to who got the best value for money at self-service restaurants, and no one bothered with him, Zhou Baowei chuckled to himself.

Class Four of Senior One truly was like this.

Not a single one is humane.

With a dismissive snort, he said: "In any case, I just overate, and my stomach got a bit upset. So I got some medicine and figured I’d take some before bed."

Lin Li: "O.o?"

"Before bed? Why the hell are you taking it now," Lin Li could barely contain himself, "byd, are you planning to sleep through evening self-study?"

Zhou Baowei waved it off: "No, brother, the doctor told me to take it before bed, but I wanted to surprise the virus three hours in advance."

Qin Zeyu: "My advice is, you either don’t take it at all and bluff with a ’Empty City Stratagem’, or you take a bunch at once and execute a ’Blitzkrieg!’

Chen Tianming: "I suggest Bao Wei, you eat it with a smile and give the virus a ’Sneak Attack’, or carve an M on the pill to make it look like M&M’s, pulling a ’White-Robed Crossing the River.’

Zhang Haoyang: "No, no, Bao Wei, listen to me, grind the real pills into powder and sprinkle them over a bunch of fake ones, then swallow them, giving the virus ’In Every Bush and Tree an Enemy’. Good morning, Vietnam!"

Wang Ze: "Why not follow my plan? Eat the medicine, then spit it out, and stick the pill up your ass, pulling a ’Feint East, Attack West’, or simply eat it with your mouth and your ass, achieving a ’Two-Pronged Attack.’

By the way, no matter which method you choose, it’s gotta be hard right? Bao Wei, I can help you."

Zhou Baowei: "?"

"Wait a minute!! Wang Ze, damn you, get out first, don’t stand behind me—"

Bai Bufan: "Why not eat the doctor too, pulling a ’Imperial Inspection’, oh, and eat the instruction manual and doctor’s ID before eating the doctor and medicine, considering it ’Ritual before Soldiers.’"

Lin Li: "Bao Wei, their ideas are unreliable. Pure nonsense. Trusting them is worse than trusting me. My advice is to cremate yourself immediately, pulling a ’Mutually Assured Destruction’, or go and get infected with some small diseases like AIDS or syphilis, executing a ’Fight Poison with Poison.’

"My advice is better than all of yours..."

"Bullshit!! Yours is a Drawbridge Stratagem! The virus isn’t that stupid, definitely better to swallow a doctor letting him command inside your stomach!!"

"Get outta here, a doctor as big as a person, how long would that take to eat, unreliable..."

"Yours is better then..."

When everyone started discussing whose method was best, and no one bothered with him, Zhou Baowei chuckled to himself again.

"Haha."

Zhou Baowei found it hard to believe that among these folks, Yang Bangjie gave the most reliable advice.

If you were to ask what Yang Bangjie said earlier.

"Erotic pic."

—Haha, he hadn’t even entered the classroom, wasn’t here at all.