fynovel Chapter 36 This imperial edict is formatted incorrectly.
Chapter 36 This imperial edict is formatted incorrectly.
In the First Yama Palace Square, you could hear a pin drop.
All the ghosts and gods, including the Ten Kings of Hell who had just arrived, were staring at the huge pit.
Inside the pit, the once invincible Giant Spirit God was embedded like a rag doll, his golden armor shattered like porcelain shards, his eyes unfocused, and a wisp of white smoke from his soul lingering at the corner of his mouth.
Chu Jiang lifted his foot and rubbed the dust off the valuable golden armor of the Giant Spirit God with the sole of his shoe.
He lowered his head and asked softly, "Now, can we talk about compensation? My plaza was just renovated, and the paving stones are all imported."
The giant spirit made a "ho ho" sound in its throat, unable to utter a single word.
Just then, golden light shone brightly again from the tear in the sky.
A figure, much smaller than the giant spirit god, descended with an even sharper aura.
The newcomer was dressed in silver chainmail, with a cold and stern face. He held a glittering golden scroll in his hand, and his eyes, sharp as lightning, were fixed on Chu Jiang.
He didn't even glance at the giant spirit in the pit, as if it were just a pile of trash.
"Yang Xian, under the Judicial God of Heaven, has come by the decree of the Jade Emperor."
Yang Xian's voice wasn't loud, but it was like an ice pick piercing the ears of every ghost and god.
The Ten Kings of Hell's expression changed, and King Qin Guang was about to step forward.
Yang Xian had already unrolled the scroll in his hand.
"The sinful immortal Chu Jiang has illegally established a court and overstepped his divine authority; this is his first crime!"
"Disrespecting the majesty of Heaven and assaulting a righteous deity of Heaven is the second crime!"
"Disrupting the order of Yin and Yang, and forcibly altering the law of reincarnation, this is the third crime!"
……
Yang Xian's voice echoed throughout the entire square, and with each recitation, the oppressive force from above grew heavier.
The officials of the underworld were all silent with fear, their legs trembling. This was a punishment personally imposed by the Heavenly Emperor; who could bear it?
Qin Guangwang and his entourage broke out in a cold sweat, and were about to lead their men to kneel down to receive the imperial decree.
"Wait a minute."
A lazy voice interrupted Yang Xian's reading.
Chu Jiang had returned to the side hall entrance at some point, sitting imposingly on the skull-patterned leather sofa, with his legs crossed.
He held the thermos cup filled with goji berries in his hand and blew on it towards Yang Xian.
"Hey you, who is Yang Jian to you?"
Yang Xian frowned: "How dare you! You actually address Erlang Shen by his given name!"
"Fine, we're not that close." Chu Jiang curled his lip. "Hey, can you guarantee this thing is authentic?"
He pointed to the gold scroll in Yang Xian's hand.
Yang Xian angrily retorted, "This is the Jade Emperor's decree, which governs the Three Realms as if I were personally present! How dare you, a mere ghost general, question it!"
"I didn't say I didn't believe it," Chu Jiang said, swinging his legs. "I just find it a little strange."
He turned his head and called out, "Li the coder."
Li, the coder, reappeared like a ghost, holding a tablet computer in his hands.
"Boss, what can I do for you?"
"Give this comrade from Heaven a lesson on the latest anti-counterfeiting technology in the Underworld."
Chu Jiang said slowly, "You say this is an imperial edict from the Jade Emperor, such an important document, how come there isn't even an anti-counterfeiting QR code? How am I supposed to know this isn't one of those cheap, free-shipping items you get from Pinduoduo for 9.9 yuan, plus a roll of tape?"
"puff--"
One of the officials below couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing, then quickly covered his mouth tightly, his face turning blue.
Pinduoduo? 9.9 yuan with free shipping?
They know that word very well! It's in the offerings burned every day!
Yang Xian's handsome face instantly turned a deep liver color.
He had roamed the Heavenly Court for thousands of years and carried out countless missions, but he had never seen such an outrageous scene.
Comparing the Jade Emperor's decree with counterfeit goods from Pinduoduo?
"You...you're courting death!" Yang Xian trembled with rage, his divine power surging.
"Don't get agitated, this is a reasonable question." Chu Jiang took a sip of goji berry water. "In our underworld, everything is done according to rules and procedures. The origin of your document is unclear, so there's a problem with the procedure."
He gestured with his chin toward Li, the coder.
"Li Ma, show Comrade Yang the internal document we just approved."
"Yes, boss."
Li, the coder, tapped on the tablet.
On the side hall wall, the huge water mirror suddenly lit up, displaying the title of a document: "Standardization and Anti-counterfeiting Standards for the Circulation of Official Documents in the Three Realms and Six Paths V2.0 (Revised Version, Trial)".
Yang Xian was dumbfounded.
The Ten Kings of Hell were dumbfounded.
All the ghosts and spirits were dumbfounded.
What is this thing again?
"Come on, Comrade Yang, let's go through them one by one." Chu Jiang picked at his ear, like the most picky client.
"First, the second article of the first chapter, the heading of official documents. Heavenly decrees of the highest level should use the 'Shangqing Lingbao Zijin Zhuan' font, with the font size being the first number. Look at this, what kind of font is this? Is it a mortal imitation of Song typeface? The font size is also too small, at most it can be considered a small first number, which weakens its imposing presence by three points."
Li, the coder, cooperated by highlighting the font of the imperial edict and the standard font in red on the water mirror for comparison.
"Secondly, in Chapter Three, Article Seven, regarding the regulations for the use of seals. For the seal of the Jade Emperor's Imperial Inspection, the seal should be placed to the left of the year inscription, about three fingers' width from the edge of the page. Yours is almost touching the main text; it's clearly the work of an intern, and it's far too careless."
"The most outrageous thing is this," Chu Jiang said, pointing to a magnified close-up on the water mirror.
"In the third paragraph, 'Heaven and Earth cannot tolerate it, and it should be punished,' you wrote the character 'punish' missing the 'heart' radical at the bottom, making it 'become a precept.' Also, in the fifth paragraph, the character 'pardon' in 'the sin is unforgivable,' you wrote it as 'red,' getting the left and right structures wrong. Anyone who didn't know better would think the Jade Emperor was inviting me to hot pot."
The entire venue was deathly silent.
Immediately following was an uncontrollable burst of laughter.
"Hahaha, I'll treat you to hot pot!"
"Are the Heavenly Court's secretaries temporary workers? Their KPIs are definitely not up to par!"
"Our underworld can't even make a typo in a job posting anymore. Is the Jade Emperor's decree less effective than ours?"
The underworld officials who were originally filled with fear of the Heavenly Court suddenly felt an unprecedented sense of satisfaction as they looked at Yang Xian's face, which turned from red to green and then from green to white.
So what about the Heavenly Court? So what about the Heavenly Gods?
Once you arrive in our underworld, before Lord Chu, if your format is incorrect, it simply won't work!
Is this what it feels like to have powerful connections?
Loved it!
The imperial edict in Yang Xian's hand now seemed like a red-hot branding iron.
He was caught between a rock and a hard place, unable to decide whether to throw it away or keep it. He stood frozen in place, feeling as if all eyes in the three realms were focused on him and that absurd typo.
His proud image of judicial authority was shattered by a few typos.
"I...I..." He stammered for a long time, unable to utter a single word.
"Alright." Chu Jiang waved his hand, interrupting his embarrassment.
"I won't make things difficult for you since you're also a working person."
He stood up, walked to Yang Xian, took the scroll of imperial edict, and casually handed it to Bruch beside him.
"Take this as a negative example and use it to train new employees later."
Then, he patted Yang Xian on the shoulder and said earnestly:
"Go back and tell your superiors that the document is not in compliance with regulations, and our Underworld Supreme Court will not accept it in accordance with the law."
"Have him revise the document and resend it in the standard format. Remember, it must be stamped with a seal across the binding, and include the imprints of the drafter, reviewer, and signatory, and most importantly..."
Chu Jiang leaned close to his ear and lowered his voice.
"Generate a unique anti-counterfeiting QR code, otherwise our system won't be able to recognize it."
Yang Xian swayed and almost fell to the ground.
Chu Jiang straightened up and concluded, "Oh right, there's one more crucial step."
"Go back and download our 'Three Paths Fast Crossing' APP, go through the online process, and submit your application. We will decide when to process your Heavenly Court's business based on the schedule."
He looked at Yang Xian, who was already in a state of shutdown, and grinned.
"After all, our court just opened and we're quite busy."