Casual Heroing

Chapter 219: Revelations

Chapter 219: Revelations

Are you sure you are not a homosexual? Anneus smiles wickedly, noticing how upset I got after such an assumption.

Yeah, absolutely sure. I like women, Anneus.

Alba keeps looking depressed by this piece of news. I mean, whats the matter with this girl, huh? What does she mean by a noble that fled his country because of a goddamn homosexual affair? What is this person even reading in her free time?!

Other guesses? I sigh.

You had an illicit child some time ago, and now you came back to take care of it! Amelia screams while clapping her hands in excitement.

I simply stare at the woman and choose to ignore what she just said.

Next?

You are a criminal?

Thats Marcellus for you.

Technically, yes, I smile. But in practice, not really. Oh, by the way.

Almost forgot.

I take out the baguettes that everyone among the students seems to love. That girl, Cassandre, has created a raging culture revolving around phallic pieces of bread filled with everything you could possibly imagine and more.

So, there are still a bunch of other things. Marcellus, your first guess was somewhat close to home. Anyone else?

Zahra opens her mouth, but I instantly point a finger at her.

Dont you dare!

Come on, [Colonel], we both know who you are. Just drop the game, she smiles.

What?

What?

You are [Colonel] Abrax!

I look around, trying to understand if anyone in the room knows who Zahra is talking about, but all I see are faces as confused as mine. It seems that the name doesnt really ring a bell to anyone here.

Wrong, apparently, I muse.

The woman falls into a meditative silence and looks at the ring on her left pinkie. Whatever just happened, I should check her file later there was a lot of military gibberish, and probably the answer to what just went down right here.

Next?

Gioeius, or whatever your name is, wouldnt it be faster if you just told us?

Adrastus, my man, you are a mood-killer. Wheres the fun in that, huh?

Plus, if these people will never talk to me again after knowing my real identity, I better take my sweet-ass time.

So, do you have any guesses?

Adrastus sighs and shrugs.

Are you perhaps the Human who killed Appius and Alba, the two future [Archmages] of the academy? I dont know, Gioeius, come on. Just tell us. Who are you?

What? Alba was going to be an [Archmage]? Ah, I didnt know that. Well, better like this then. I wouldnt have wanted such a person in the high spheres here at the academy.

Suddenly, the atmosphere freezes over. Everyone stops fidgeting with books, baguettes, their clothes, their hair, and others hair as well.The source of this content nov(el)bi((n))

I smile.

Yep, people. I didnt deny it.

I raise my hand and snap my fingers, still smiling.

After a few beats, I remember that I actually have to deactivate the disguise myself. The snap of the fingers is pure theatrics; it doesnt actually do anything.

Yep, Im the Human. Made a couple of deals with the [Archmages] after my talk with the [Dean]. I will release a lot of knowledge on old magic and Cantrips to the public. In return, they will vouch for me and protect my reputation, so to say. Long story short, Im not a criminal anymore. And even before, for your information, I was challenged to the death. They made me do it. The only person I almost killed who didnt want to get killed like an idiot was the Vanedeni guy, the disciple of [Princess] Valarith.

Adrastus is the one who immediately reacts violently to the news. He jumps on his feet, taking out a wand and pointing it at me.

I mean, man, no offense, really but do you think you could do anything to me when I put Appius to fertilize the sweet ground of the academy?

You are a traitor! Adrastus exclaims.

In response, Anneus raises one of his crutches and smashes it on Adrastuss head, downing him in one go. See, when I say smash, I mean he almost broke the magically reinforced crutches.

Holy, I say while checking on Adrastus, whos clutching his head in pain.

The woman looks at me with a confused expression at first, but when she takes a better look, she almost doubles over.

FOR ALL THE ROTTING LEAVES!

I swear they make up these expressions on the spot. It cant be a thing, come on.

Agrippina, stop shouting at the customers!

An angry Camilla comes out of a door that seemingly appeared out of nowhere, all covered in flour. When she sees me, she goes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

No exclamation point, for some reason.

I give her a custom-made Luciani-trademark wink and smile toothily.

Sup, lady? I know Im handsome, but we are in a workplace; cant you keep it down? Other people here are trying to work

Camilla tackles me so violently that I feel the air punched out of me. Oof, she punched me in the stomach too. Oof, another punch.

YOU?! WHAT ARE

Oh, shit, the news of my coming was propagated to the Watch, right? But the Watch didnt have a reason to alert my friends, I guess.

Camilla, girl, you put on weight, please, I say while trying to remove her from atop of me. Princess Bianca, the smartest in the room, jumped away from my arms and up to the counter the second she saw Camilla charge.

Camilla! What are you doing to that customer Flaminias words die in her throat when she sees me winking at her while my face is still red from the pain of soaking all the blows from the angry-crying Camilla.

Nice buns, I say, looking at the tray the woman carries in her hands.

JOEY?!

Oh, shi

Flaminia throws away the tray in a very irresponsible act of food wasting and jumps on top of me as well, crying immediately.

You came to Amorium the last time, and you didnt come to us?! she punches my stomach, helping Camilla, who was keeping up with her murder attempt.

If you let me get up, I could explain

WHO IN THE HIGHEST TREES IS MAKING ALL THIS NOISE?!

Clodia comes out of the kitchen with a long wooden spoon while a bewildered audience is still catching up with whats happening.

With a little bit of physical prowess and a lot of magical intervention, I remove both Camilla and Flaminia from atop of me and dust myself off.

Yo, Clodia, I smile, I hope you ran the place tightly in my absence.

What are you doing here? Clodia looks almost scared for me.

Im back, baby, I smile. Got all the chargesdo you call them charges? The accusations? Whatever it is. The nobles who wanted me to drop dead? Got them all to fuck off because I allied with some [Archmages]listen, it doesnt matter. Im back. Thats all. Ill teach at the Nine Towers Academy, but Ill come back almost every day to be sure things are running smoothly. I mean, as soon as I figure out the spell myself, that is. You know, spatial magic is a huge pain in the ass. And the Mana cost! Hell, Ill need a ritual. Catalysts. Stuff. It will be expensive. But Im rich, I think. Also, are we making money here? How much money do you owe me again? And what was the split? Hell, I forgot a lot of stuff.

As Im speaking, I see two figures stumble through the kitchen door with wide mouths and nearly frozen.

Hehe, my two managing [Chefs], I smile at Tiberius and Quintus.

We got the recipe you sent secretly, Tiberius says while his fake leg clacks on the floor.

Hope you managed to make it. Im in the mood for a Mimosa.

The two adults, both veterans of war, both ex-homeless, and both my favorite employees, start tearing up as they look at me.

So, you are back? Quintus says, trying to hide the only eye where tears can come from.

Yeah, Im back, baby, I say, starting to feel the sting in my eyes too.

Theres nothing worse than seeing strong men like those two cry.

For Christs sake, stop crying, I say with a sob, and I hug them both, hell, I hate you both.

We missed you, [Chef], Tiberius says, hugging me tightly.

Fucking idiots, grown-ass men crying like babies, I say while putting my head over Tiberius's shoulder.

I was wrong.

I am home.

I have friends who miss me.

I have people ready to fight for me.

Life aint so bad after all.